Starting from scratch.
This project began with a question: what does it mean to "identify" as queer? For me sexuality wasn't the question, rather I was intrigued by the process of how people come to identify as queer. This started with weeks of reading about the subject. Through my research, I learned about the theoretical process of identity formation as it relates to sexuality. More interestingly, I learned how closely my own experience had been in relationship to this theory, it was as if I was reading about my own life in objective scholarly writing.
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When I thought about ways I could share this research with others, it was a fairly simple decision to do this through music. What was problematic about this was my degree in voice performance was a training within a genre with intense heteronormative conventions and attitudes. In this way, the performance I curated was really a rebellious act that was shaped more and more by this question: How can I make classical voice queer?
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After I decided to use the medium of voice recital to explore this theme, I had to decide on a program. The way I chose to queer this element of the genre was by connecting all the songs on the program in one narrative. The narrative being the process of queer identification through four main stages: Discovery, celebration, conflict, and acceptance. This unfolded quite naturally; I needed each language of traditional classical study (Italian, German, French, and English) and I would need to frame them in a way that highlighted the queer elements of each.
The repertoire of classical music is so vast that narrowing my scope became easier when I decided to only use
songs written by queer composers (or suspected to be queer) or songs that use text written by queer poets. I am proud to say that the program (save for three songs) lives up to this standard. And of the three exceptions, each song holds an undeniably queer theme in the narrative of the program.
Process
Going further.
After the construction of the program, I still thought that the
performance could be queered even more. I decided that
another convention we could play with was the pacing of the
program.
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Traditional classical programs have musical sets that go one
into the next with short breaks in between and an
intermission in the middle. I thought that a different way to
separate the musical sets was to use visual media. This will
serve two functions, breaking up the program while holding
audience attention and extra-musically reinforcing the
context of the program.
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From here I created a script for the film that would be played intermittently with musical sets. As the project grew conceptually, I realized that I would need funding to bring my artistic idealism to fruition.
Bringing it to life.
Getting funding is a step that takes a lot of work. The first step is to have an idea, and while I felt this was an idea I could stand behind a major part of getting funded is proving to other people how important/special/fabulous your project is.
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I did this by explaining my project and then substantiating each claim about it's significance with scholarly evidence. Since The first of the two grants I received was specifically for artistic development, I tailored this request with audience in mind. I accompanied this with a comprehensive budget for what it would cost to fund the project. And then I waited to hear back.
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While I waited I thought more about the project and the purpose. Since I wanted this performance/message to be accessible to people in attendance and beyond, I knew that I would have to have the process archived. Which led me to my second grant application.
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I researched how I could have the recital professionally
recorded (so as not to compromise on production value)
and applied for funding to fulfill this need.
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After my funding requests were prove the frenzy of work
began. I began recruiting people to work on the project
(including a lighting designer, staging consultant, stage
manager, and even a make-up artist).
This meant coordinating schedules for countless meetings
and rehearsals, and while we were met with several serious
roadblocks along the way (the most significant being losing
access to the lighting equipment of the theater due to construction) this forced us to create a performance that was more and more queer.
